oh my. its gonna be 2007 in less than a week's time. i still cant believe dat time passes dat fast!

*slap myself*

ok. before i start with the new year's resolutions. what abt i briefly sum up the more impt events dat had happened in 2006.

Jan
1) received notification letter on enlistement. which is, sadly, NDU.

Feb
1) got enlisted into NDU. which ive posted ard 5 entries complainin and whinin abt it.
2) got into a relationship on the 26th. =)

Mar
1) some friendship probs. complicated stuff.
2) got back my A's grade. not really satisfied with it.

Apr
1) got enlisted on the 7th. yesh, NDU.

May
1) got accepted into NTU chinese (hons)
2) got rejected from NUS
3) passed my airforce interview and received a 17yrs contract from them.
4) personal 2.4km best of 9mins56secs

June
-boring nth-

July
1) entered a new phase in NS

Aug
-boring nth-

Sep
1) finally the first pubbing trip with my buds
2) bought a new pair of specs
3) happy happy 19th birthday

Oct
1) my virgin trip to 6star hotel for dimsum cuisine
2) broke up.

Nov
1) virgin trip to gaypub
2) diagnosed with Gynaecomastia and went for the surgery

Dec
1) posted ard 4 entries bombardin the camp MOs
2) gaping wound
3) mission photoshop
4) room revampment


ok very brief i know.

but i muz say this year has been quite a good year

( sound so weird)

i shall pray for everythin to remain the same, or if not better, for the coming year.

2007 here i come!

( oh my, i forgot i need to book in tmr)

damn.

wat a fun-filled xmas eve!!!

or shd i juz put it this way. it was the best out of the past few xmas's eves i had celebrated!!

this year. instead of headin back to town and gettin ourselves all wet and dirty. oh yes, not forgettin the obnoxious banglas and the evil aerosal sprays. we decided , or shd i say, the gals decided to book a chalet at eastcoast to try their best to spike our makan with a glimpse of hope of eating the guy's toufu.

but i muz say the guys of the rabbit year r smart and observant. we saw thru their conspiracy at a glance.

try harder next time gals!

ok back to the chalet. we played lotsa lotsa stuff! daidee. 24points. PSP. PS2. lotsa lotsa!

and not forgetting the bbq! yummilicious!

i was so tempted by the bbqed food dat my hands couldnt stop peeling the mouth-watering prawns. oh my. luckily the wound didnt show any unusual signs over the next few days.

the prawns and the chessy sausages were simply fantastic! to think abt it now, im actually drooling!

i dun care. invite me to ur next bbq session!

we also drank abit later at night. a plan came up by the gerls to make us all drunk so dat we can go out of our mind and do as the gerls wish.

but too bad. we are of a special breed of man! thou shall not eat choutoufus!

( i think im gg to be so dead during our next meeting with al hx jojo etc.)

its really cool to celebrate xmas with ur best buddies. although i left early on sat morning coz my mom wanted someone to keep an eye on the banglas while they re-painted our walls. and dat i suay suay kena guard duty on monday, which is if ure wondering, Christmas Day itself.

but still. dat 1day1night stay was simply fabulous. it has been quite a long time since the 4 of us last met and had fun tgt.

ok the 'had fun' part sounds wrong.

i really cant wait for our next meeting. hopefully newyear eve!

ecstatic! elated! erotic!

i shall start pestering them to keep dat day free from all other commitments.

unfortunately someone forgot to bring digi cam over to the chalet. so we hav no choice but to depend on my camera hp and my basic photoshop skills.

oh did i mention im tryin to master photoshop 7.0?!

although im still abit newbie. but it doesnt matter. its a new day everyday!

anw its kinda late oredi. and its rainin again. nice weather to sleep. but i do hope it stops tmr. feel like going out gai-gai.

and my room is 3/4 done. left some decos and the liquors!

everyone likes Andy's cheesy sausage. opps. i mean the one he cooked.

aloha. ok this is not ur normal blog entry. im helping my fren to promote his fabulous products.

head over to

http://www.collarge.blogspot.com/

do support k. plus its real CHEAP. too cheap to be true! get this perfect x'mas gifts for ur family and frenz. they will be elated seeing these 10bucks-look-alike gifts. its a good propaganda for more angbao money during lunar new year! watcha waiting for?! its a brilliant strategy from urs sincerely. no lost only gain!

this is the season to be jolly. tra lalalala lalalala.
natalie is sucha meanie. tralalalala lalalala
fee is oso horny. tra lala lalala lalala
seokie is fatty flatty. tra lalala la lalalala!!

tra lalalala la lalaLA!

i wanna ORD!!! i dunno why but i juz wanna ORD!!!

it muz be becoz the seniors r ord-ing soon! and they were teasing me abt the 1yr plus of suffering i hav to go thru!

unfair! ORD ORD ORD!!!

im gg to start planning for overseas vacations and lotsa lotsa stuff 6mths before i ORD.

holiday trips!

mai dong xi chi dong xi till i die in Hong Kong
buy fake dirt-cheap stuff till i pok-gai in Thailand
play and idolise till i jellylegs in Taiwan
eat kimchi till i choke in Korea
sing 'Ye Shang Hai' till i zao-xia in Shanghai

how come all Asian countries u ask?

No way!

being mocked at till i cry in the States.
get stung by stingray till i die in Australia.
scenic viewing till i used up my EyeMo in Switzerland


OH MY GAWD! I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE! I WANNA AWOL!!

and i reli do miss schooling! although i know most of my frenz r complainin abt how stressful uni life can get.

BUT I DUN CARE! I WANNA GET OUT OF MILITARY LIFE!

plus. i reli need to go for regular workout and swimmin sessions on WEEKLY BASIS!

maybe i shd juz join in seok fee nat's gym's sessions! and head over nat's place for suntanning every weekend! ok nat?!

YESH u shall exclaim!

and my room revampment is still ongoing! juz u wait!!

not forgetting the driving lessons! need to get my driving license real soon and start driving ard and havoc-ing!

and im geting lobangs to teach CHINESE! im gg to beocme a TUTOR myself! more money to feed my wallet for the upcomin retail therapies and fun fun FUN!

oh my i cant wait! im plannin my own future!

quote nat " soooooooooo excitinggggggggggg!! i gained another 100kgs!!"
quote seok " mei yanfang got cb cancer! watever la! i got big boobs now! no more singlets!!"
quote fee " mad auntie and retard son! wu else!!"
quote manda " honey han. pass me my Gucci bag! im late for my Paragon tripppp!!"

and yah. hav an enjoyable Christmas Day! i got two parties to attend during the Eve and i got guardduty on the xmas night!!

festive mood! nice cheap tee i got from bugis! and i spent 30mins decorating the virtual xmas tree!

oh shit. i suddenly lost my train of thoughts while waiting for this page to load!

screw it.

anw i went back to my camp medical centre for medical review few days back.

and i was happily anticipating dat few minutes when i can start criticising about the poor performance from both the MO and the centre's facilites.

but horrors. when i knocked and entered in the room.

he SMILED. a megawatt smile i muz say.

" oh hi siyan. r u feeling any better?"

totally dumbstruck. it took me quite awhile to comtemplate whether he was being possessed by some evilspiritS.

i swear his wife gave him goodsex the night before.

and im sorry to say ive failed u all terribly. i smiled back too!

and yahoo! the surgeon's letter actually stated that im ENTITLED to 1month of lightduties status.

so the MO was like " wah ur surgeon very good hor, give u sucha long period ot time to rest"

den i went to explain how CHRONIC my situation was. all the bullshit crap dat the stitches melted even before my wound has been sealed up, thus the opening gap at both ends. which has already being verified by my operating surgeon. kinda exaggerate a lil though.

so he was nodding attentively. i still couldnt believe my own eyes.

den when he asks me to lift up my shirt for wound inspection,

i muz say i did it rather willingly. of coz not dat he's gg to violently slash my shirt la.

so he was inspecting while showing sign of agreement aka nodding head aka " i see i see".

den came the interesting part

"r u happy with the results?"

" wat results?"

" the end results of the stitches. actually they did quite a good job if not for the openingap."

" oh okok"

" haha. u didnt go confront ur surgeon how come her stitching so lousy? * proceed bangin his own desk* den ask for a refund or something. hahaha"

" hahaha. ( = u r very lame. stop it please.)

" do u know u will get outofcourse becoz of this. since ure still on m.c and will be given 1month lightduties. thus unable to join the rest for normal trainins * worried look*"

and i played along with him

" yah. but no choice. its not really up to me to decide when is my wound gg to heal. coz apparently its not recovering as it shd hav been now. "

" icic. so do u wan to get outofcourse?"

" * pause, thinking* hmm im still not sure myself. but even if i didnt get outofcourse, i can forsee a big problem for myself to join back the class and catch up with 1month of intense trainin i missed. and moreover, its not up to me to choose whether i stay or go. coz usually ppl r forced to get outofcourse juz becoz of 2wks of lightduties"

" i see. okay. take care den. byebye * flash smile*"


den i realised its not dat her wife gave him goodsex the night before. coz while waiting for my status m.c. , the secret of all secrets revealed.

THERE WAS AN ONGOING SURVEY ON THE MEDICAL CENTRE PERFORMANCE!!

no wonder! how typical!!

no wonder i smelt conspiracy when not only the m.o, but the medics were so friendly all of the sudden. next time i muz rmb to go for med reviews only when theres a grading survey going on.

so the truth , the m.o still didnt get his good sex. no goodsex plus still hav to force himself to wear a smile. it muz be so tiring for him. orbi good!

***

OH i rmbed wat i wanted to say. ive decided to tidy up my room nicely and start stocking up hardliquor and stuff so i can invite my frenz over for partieeeeessss and sleepoversss( not the gals of coz)!!. yayyy!

trip to ikea real soon!

9th Dec

wanted to go Changi Airport with fee to walkard shopard lazeard. but we realised the weather was bloody hot and i cant move ard and sweat too much. so while hammering our own brains for any wacky ideas, nat asked us to manda's house for... hmm... for... i cant reli put it into words. lets say FUN.

reached manda's house in the late afternoon. watched Davinci Code with nat, fee, manda, han and manda's mom. after the show ended, han went back home to rest while manda's mom went back to her own room. so its left with 4 of us in the living room. so u muz be thinkin wat can 3 girls and 1 guy do late at night. and dat han is back home and manda's mom slping soundly. and not to forget manda's house has this big couch.

bingo. we had mass orgy.

*snap finger*

we played monopoly la. it was kinda boring at the start. but slowly, this family game started to evolve into a gruesome game of feminism. where the tigresses in all girls were waiting to pounce at and devour the only man. it was horrendous i tell u. u shd hav taken a look at their faces. all filled with anxiety and excitement to exterminate the only guy in the game.

but lucky for me, i was quite a good player. by saying good, i mean generous and easy-going. if not fee and manda would oredi hav forced to leave the game.

and while everyone was trying to save their own asses. neither did we know, the biggest and mightiest of all tigresses was actually hatchin a evil plan. to not only devour the only man, but to put the rest of the dying tigresses into her foodchain.

sinister.

and this game of life and death actually lasted till 12midnight when the only man was sick and tired of carry on battling with the mammoth creature. while the souls of the dead tigresses did their part by speeding up the hunting.

this is sucha evil game. it shows the true nature of everyone. or shd i say, every girl. which is to, simply, release the feministic tigress hidden deep beneath their pure innocent minds.

crouchin tigress hidden maiden.

run guys run!

funny animation

this is F.R.E.A.K.I.N.G COOL!

bingo. the wound is really gaping.

i went back to my operating surgeon this morning after updating her abt my wound last afternoon. she den offered a non-booking appointment to inspect my wound herself. really nice of her. million kisses! ( if she wans it).

she told me dat although the open wound is gaping. its actually quite superficial and proceeded taping the wound up for me. afterwhich assuring me dat theres no re-stitching required. the wound will heal and seal up by itself in no time.

a heavy sigh of relief.

and im so sorry to say , due to my gossiping nature, i complained to her about how inefficient and ignorant my camp MO is. she den kindly wrote a letter to ask the MO to shut his trap and just let me rest.

i hope the letter's content is some sarcastic mean piece of complaint letter.

i really cant wait to see the MO's expression.

maybe i shd end the convo with the MO with a

" oh thanx alot for the psychological assurance u gave me. (*re-enact " oh its healing well") although it kinda backfired heavily. but its okay. u did ur part in providin me with non-waterproof dressing and risk havin my wound infected. but i do understand its ur optimal care effort in making me stronger thru endurance."

so now everythin is under control. my wound has been taped up. its healing. only dat i cant move my left arm too much. it might risk tearing the wound wider.

and i got the histopathology results.

dunno wat Histopathology? dun worry

-noun
the science dealing with the histological structure of abnormal or diseased tissue; pathological histology.

although i must say its definition is not of much help actually. never mind. its actually just a result slip la.

Diagnosis
(A) Right and
(B) left breast lumps, excision
biopsy: Gynaecomastia

Gross description
(A) The specimen is received in formalin, labelled with patient data, and designated " right breast lump". It consists of 2 pieces of firbrofatty tissue altogether measuring 2 x 1.5 x 1.5cm.

(B) The specimen is received in formalin, labelled with patient data, and designated " left breast lump". It consists if a piece of fibrofatty tissue altogether measuring 3.5 x 3 x 1.8cm

Microscopic description ( A&B)
...
...
...
...
THERE IS NO EVIDENCE OF MALIGNANCY.

***
no breast cancer! its even worst than striking toto!

and oh my god, theres actually 2 lumps on my right breast. holy cow!

so theres 3 lumps in total.

no wonder the left wound is taking longer to heal. the lump itself is actually much bigger than 2rightlumps added up.

but im really glad to actually consult my own operating surgeon. no gps no MO can beat the professional. they are really good, man. all the assurance and guidance.

thnx a million to my operating surgeon Dr.Chan Shao Wah , Georgette.

and to my family GP Dr.Wee

(although i dont think ure so friendly to the extent of readin ur patients's blog.)

but never mind. i understand. u guys r great!

someone please remind me not to say 'thank you' during my next visit to the MO.

yes. not even a smile.

maybe i shd juz yawn loudly when the MO's readin the letter.

hmm.

***
( post-note)
- my mom actually gave me the greenlight to deco my own room! w/o paying a single cent myself! someone please accompany me to IKEA soon!
- i suddenly feel like going to the airport. just to walk ard shop ard laze ard. who's cool with it?!

please bear with me for a short while. im so frustrated that if u slit my throat right now, my blood will gush out and scald you.

apparently, i went back to endorse my m.c cum wound inspection. and guess what the dumbfcuk m.o said after i filled him with the details.

" ok. remove the dressing"

" huh? myself? but its waterproof dressing, the previous GP told me to apply removing solution on it first before peeling coz of the superstrong glue"

" nvm. slowly peel it off urself"

i tell u i got so dumbfounded i was sitting there speechless for 30secs before actually lifting up my shirt. GRRRRR.

so i carefully removed the dressin MYSELF while SITTING on the chair. and the m.o himself sitting happily smiling away and adjusting his watch's timing ( WTF?!?!). and horror of the horrors, part of the primary layer of my skin actually got peeled off as well! so as my tann! all my hard work gone down the drain! GRRRR. he must be giggling away seeing how pitiful i am.

and dats not the worst part. i realised the stitches werent done up properly! theres actually an open wound at both ends! holy cow!! and the dumbfcuk m.o actually told me its HEALING WELL?!?! WELL?!?! how WELL?!?! like " oh u got two open bleeding wounds due to improper stiches and its opening up like slitting cockles into half. but never u mind. its HEALING WELL"

amithabha!

i swear i was so tempted to juz snap at the m.o and give him a piece of my mind! so tempted!

oh yah. not to forget the poor dressin done up by the nurse over there!

" im sorry but we don't hav any waterproof dressings. normal cottonwool dressing can?"

" oh okkkk... * cold stare*"

tell me! even a small clinic has waterproof dressings! how come sucha big medical centre doesnt hav any of such convenient and user-friendly needs?! without the waterproof dressings, am i supposed to bathe and moan at the same time?!?!

" oh didnt ur mom oways tell u to clean the cockles before eatin it?"

please save me from puking blood right now.

and while typing this. the wound is giving my sharp pains. i think its a warning for being too heatedup.

* breathe in breathe out

and not long ago. i peeled off part of the useless dressing to let me sis enjoy the image of well halvcooked cockles. and HORRORS! i realised the open wound it actually getting bigger and longer!!

can someone please assure me that the stitches are not dissolved yet and the wound isnt going to open up WHOLE! its ard 3+cm long!

my goodness. im totally disheartened now.

" we welcome u to our new bodyimage. mr.distortednipple. enjoy ur stay."


someone pass me the ratpoision please.

ok it has been 5days since my virgin operation. and im so sorry to say, the FCUKING WOUND STILL HURTS!!!

grrr.

i had quite a hard time tryin my best not to luff OUT LOUD in manda's house. coz u see, its a simple logic. they lol = u oso lol = ur wound lol = u moan.

i will be headin back to camp for wound inspection tomolo. which i forsee a longer resting period since the wound is still bleeding and there is absolutely no way the med officer is gg to juz endorse the m.c. and call it a day.

MO: " ok LCP Lai u can go home now, u will be fit for all duties "

me: " *slap MO with a large trout* r u out of ur mind?!?! my wound is still bleeding! i cant even carry heavy loads and stretch my arms"

MO: " u juz hav to deal with it. dats part and parcel of being a soldier. stop wasting my time. at most i will give u painkillers. i need to try sneaking out before 4. since my assistant medics r oways doing the same thing. who cares abt 8-5job?! i say 8-3! i love moonlighting!"

me: " *snap finger diva style* ok fine. all i wan is a 2weeks attB status. as simple as dat"

MO: " ure sucha a bother. give u a month la. no sweat. i juz gave the previous guy 1yr attB for coughing onto my face. dat will shut him up *noting it down in the status sheet while packing his briefcase at sonicspeed*"

me: " hallelujah! amitabha!"


( nah. juz joking. all camp MOs r the bestest captains nationwide. they r so angelic i can see halo on top of their head at times. so please kindly take note of this mr.military police. )

anw major digression. an hour ago i was thinkin abt the best combi of parents children can get. by saying best combi, i mean their profession.

and ive thought of a few combis

1. Dad's a GP ( it seriously saves lotsa money with a dad solving all your medical needs). Mom's a hairdresser ( another mega-saving must-buy. somemore can discuss with her abt the latest coolest hairstyle w/o havin her frownin at u like some mofos)
2. Dad's a English Lang. teacher. Mom's a Chinese Lang. Teacher ( a bilingual lucky fella who doesnt hav to worry abt his/her hwks anymore!)
3. Dad's a top western restaurant Chef. Mom's a crystaljade chef. ( oh my gawddd. imagine the cusine ur going to savour everyday! there might even be chances for a FUSION! No more kfc mac longjohn pizzahut delivery, we shall hav topgrade birdnest and delicious tiramisus for dessert after everymeal!)
4. Dad's a commercial pilot. Mom's a dermatologist ( ahhh. dabestfacials on free holiday trips all over Europe. my face also go Poing Poing!)
5. Dad's AndyLau. Mom's Britney Spears ( no questions asked. it speaks for itself.)

ok. apparently the painkillers i took hav driven me nuts. nevermind. cumon! tag ur favorite combi!

or better. provide me with ur own personal combi!